Why am I crying?

First things first ... my bad y'all, on last week's silence. Lost momentum with Labor Day weekend and one missed blog turned into 10! Oy.

Now, I had a pretty perfect Paleo day today. All planned meals and a CrossFit Mom workout to end the evening. So why am I crying?!?! Let me start by saying I love that the baby is growing. And when he does, so must I. Pregnancy is a beautiful thing and I really do wear it with pride. But let me just vent for a second ...

My boobs are huge. Not in the enviable Victoria's Secret way either. More like a page out of National Geographic. Is this really necessary? Also, in the right light (or when sitting Indian style), I'm beginning to notice cellulite on my legs. I know for a fact this is due to too much cheating on Paleo and too many missed workouts. The lumpy appearance of excess body fat is raring its ugly head. This is not okay with me. I must revisit my dedication to "the plan." So, this disappointment in myself coupled with the fact that I physically could not complete my workout tonight = crying in the shower. My hands simply ripped on the pull-up bar. This has happened before. And I do not cry every time. I guess I just felt very defeated, and no one to blame but myself.

I have a lot of really great cheerleaders out there who say, "Now is the time you can eat whatever you want." "Now is the one time you don't have to worry about your body - enjoy it." If you've said these things to me, know that I love you and truly appreciate the support. However, I think this is an unintentional form of sabotage. Pregnancy doesn't give you a license to completely change your lifestyle. If anything, I think I have even MORE of a responsibility to take care of my body. Someone else's little body is growing and developing in there!! He's feeding off or suffering from everything I do. I don't mean to be dramatic about it, but that really is a great deal of responsibility and I don't take it lightly.

So for the sake of the little one, and for the sake of the medical staff who will spend a day in February looking very closely at my thighs, I am renewing my vows to Paleo and CrossFit. 5x a week or bust!! :)

Meal # 1: 2 omega-3 scrambled eggs with added egg whites and green onions; bowl of fresh berries
Meal # 2: Apple with Sunbutter
Meal # 3: Romaine and spinach salad with boiled chicken breast, sauteed red/yellow peppers, olive oil and balsamic vinegar
Meal # 4: Homemade trail mix with almonds, walnuts, blueberries and mixed dried fruit (looked for variety with lowest sugar - 23g per 1/4 cup)
Meal # 5: Tuscan soup made with low-sodium vegetable broth, canned diced tomatoes, hot Italian pork sausage, fresh spinach leaves, chopped cauliflower
I added a little salt while it was all simmering together, but really the sausage provided plenty of heat and flavor all by itself. Next time will use kale vs. spinach for better texture.
Workout: 3 rounds of 15 pull-ups (medium assistance band), 15 lunges each leg, 15 knees-to-elbows on pull-up bar ... prescribed workout was 4 rounds. I did 8 of the pull-ups, all of the lunges and none of the K2E in the 4th round.
Meal # 6: Carrots and celery with organic blue cheese dressing

I spent too long venting about my foul mood today ... but I have a soapbox to hop on tomorrow about diet and the correlation to disease. Nite nite!